15 Random Things About Me

I decided to share with you 15 random things about myself.

Things that you probably didn’t know.

It’s almost two years since I started writing this blog, and in that time, I’ve never really taken the time to introduce myself, so I decided to do to this in a fun way and expose my self just a little bit . I trust you won’t use it against me.

Please Don’t.

Sure, if you’re one of my readers (hey you, thank you!), you’ll have a bit of an idea but maybe not a clear one?

1. I am shy

I am definitely not a shy blogger, but in person. One thing that makes it so obvious that I’m shy is that I tend to talk super fast. If you don’t know me like that, you will probably have a hard time in understanding what I’m trying to say.

2. I get cold easily

For reasons I don’t know, cold literally gets into me so easily. My feet and hands will literally be so cold and I can’t sleep until they are warm. Winter days are worst, but there is nothing a pair of three stockings, two jerseys and a hot cup of tea can’t fix.

3. I hate ‘After’ Book to Movie Adaptation

So I used to be a Wattpad fan and the book I first read and loved was written by Anna Todd. This book was amazing and with every page I turned I’d imagine it being a movie, and when I finally read that it was being made into a movie I was super excited about it, only to be disappointed. Too many little nitty-gritty ideas were left out.

4. I love calling people by their names

So here is the thing, whenever I’m typing on WhatsApp or calling a friend, I always mention their name, for example, ‘Hi Nissi, how are you’. The reason being that (it’s going to sound crazy), but I feel that it’s more personal that way. I love that.

5. I love real life stories

Don’t be surprised when you see me watching crime shows. You should definitely see my most watched videos on YouTube. I love murder shows, I think the real reason I watch these shows is that satisfaction I get when a culprit being punished for what they did. That makes me happy knowing someone out there got justice!

6. I love milk chocolates

Are other chocolates even chocolates? It’s either milk chocolate or no chocolate for me.

7. I had a crush on a guy who proposed my twin sister

Hey sis. You are probably reading this now too, well, I guess that’s how random this blog post is. I had a crush on a guy who had eyes on my twin sister. I’m totally not mentioning his name, but I realised he wasn’t like a person I’d date anyways.

8. I love reading BUT

I struggle reading textbooks, recipe books, classics, you know all the other serious stuff. I have a hard time comprehending these things, let alone remain focused. I don’t know why I’m like that too haha!

9. My middle name is not on my birth certificate

I’m still mad at my parents for doing this. My name is Charmaine Danai Chigwedere, but Danai is not on my birth certificate. My mother told me that she gave me this name because I couldn’t pronounce Charmaine when I was in preschool. I think I was a little slow, but at least I’m entertaining now.

10. I’m learning to be more open

I mean check me out, this blog post, the Sunday Confessions. Yep! Two out of those three Confessions really happened and YES, to me.

11. I love art

Did you know that I used to draw? I really was a talented young girl back then. I lacked focus and support really. I love drawing and now it pains me so much that I can no longer draw.

An old picture illustrating my work

12. I visit the National Art Gallery, frequently

Whenever I get in town, for no reason, I always visit the National Art Gallery. I think I love admiring other people’s work and honestly I get inspired.

13. I love to help

If you are in front of me and you are carrying heavy stuff, I’m helping!

14. When I was young I was obsessed with the Smurfs

My twin sister and I had big tshirts that had smurfs printed all over them. An older version of me loved Smurfette and she was on my WhatsApp profile picture for so long, sadly my obsession ended when I was in my second year in college, I think.

If you’ve been on my WhatsApp contact list for a long time, you’d probably remember my most used WhatsApp Profile Picture.

15. I am a huge fan of Jazz

I think this is one of the purest and honest genre ever to be made. I always imagine myself on a date in a blue shiny dress, with this handsome man staring in my eyes, the sound of Jazz blessing our ear buds. Gosh! It’s magical, atleast in my eyes. Dream on Winter Duckling.

I am also adorable. I am definitely adorable.

SUNDAY CONFESSIONS: A FAILED MOTHER.

“Not all things that happen to me are bad, but that woman? She was bad. Fifty shades of bad. She was horrible to me in every humanly possible way. I’ve lived 9 years of my life with her, scared of being choked to death in my sleep. I mean with her behaviour, she was very much capable of murder. This was so because she was thoughtless and selfish.

My mother passed on when I was 6 years old, I don’t remember much but I remember my mother being a loving woman, both to me and my father. When I was 10 years old my father got married to another woman. I liked her, I mean when she was a girlfriend, she was really nice to me, buying me nice things, spoiling me with all kinds of toys. She was always visiting almost every week, to be honest, it was nice. I was happy when they got married, she was a beautiful bride.

I don’t really remember when things changed, but I remember it was a holiday and we had moved from our old house in Waterfalls to Avondale. She said she was doing it for me, but she was just a selfish b*!?*h, who was acting bougie for no reason. The maid we had that time came to clean everyday from 8am-6pm, but I remember her telling the maid not come the following day. The following day I remember her pulling my blankets, it was around 6am and she told me that I was a big girl, the house needed to be cleaned by me. I cleaned, I remember my father woke up he was happy that he had a big girl who could now do house chores. From that day onwards, I cleaned the house every single day.

Things became worse when schools opened, I told her that I couldn’t do house chores before school, and I suggested that we should hire a maid. I received a slap, I think she slapped me with all her strength because I fell down. She started to kick me and removed her slipper and thrashed me with it. ‘imbwa yemunhu, une mari yekubhadhara maid iwe? Haundiudzire zvekuita pamba pangu, imba yangu inoi yenyu makaisa maroja, unoda kugara, kudya nekurara usingaite basa? (Idiot! Can you afford to pay a maid? This is my house, I don’t get orders from you. You just want to eat and sleep only). I received the beating of my life. This was when all the physical abuse started.

I used to cry a lot but it wasn’t helping. My father? He was obviously the head of the house but his wife was the neck, she controlled everything he did or say to me. I remember telling my father that his wife was always beating me and cursing me for no reason, I don’t know what he did but it got worse. After school, I knew whenever I got home, I would be blamed for something I didn’t do and she would thrash me or tell me I wasn’t eating that evening. If my father came from work, she would tell her that I ate early and went to bed because I was too tired because of school.

My body got used to the thrashing and abuse, my mind got used to being told that I was a useless, ungrateful little brat. I was young but I learnt that every woman can have children but not every woman can be a mother. Some people don’t deserve to have children. I know this is wrong to put out there but I was glad she never had a child of her own. It was one miscarriage after another. The relationship I had with my father became shaky because of her. When I finished High School, I finally had the strength to leave and went to live with my mother’s sister. Obviously it didn’t settle well with her. I opened up about the abuse to my aunty, she, unlike my father, didn’t blame me but she was disappointed that I didn’t say it sooner.

I am now a mother of a beautiful 5 year old girl. I remember when I gave birth to her, I fell into depression because I was afraid that I would turn out to be a bad mother like my father’s wife. I was afraid that I would her little body, the fears were too much, my childhood trauma was quickly catching up. My husband, I love him, helped me. He took me to counselling sessions and I also I joined support groups that got rid of my fears. In all honesty, abuse doesn’t go away, you decide to let it not affect you, and that’s where I am right now. Yes, she did apologise, after so many years, and for my sanity I forgave her, but the truth is I will never let my daughter near her, because I still don’t trust her

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Always report any kind of abuse before it goes to far, or before it becomes too late for you to do so.

SUNDAY CONFESSIONS: NOT MUCH OF A DATE.

“A few weeks after I started my new job, my senior started to ask me out. He was so persistent but I kept turning him down. The real reason was that I had a man in my life, so there was no absolute reason why I had to promise another guy my time when there was already someone else who was using it, well, not so wisely though.

Now before you think otherwise, my senior was only a few months younger than me, he was so handsome, his lips, GOD OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. There were times I would just stare at them whenever he was talking you know, and just wonder what else his lips could do besides talking. Was I mentally cheating?

Me and my man? This guy was never available and every girl deserves attention especially from the love of her life. I am not blaming anyone for what I did, but he carries a certain percentage of what took place the day I decided to let my senior take me out on a date. My man was always busy with God knows what so one day I just decided to say you know what, screw this, I am going out with my senior.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning I had no plans whatsoever, so there I was, busy texting my senior, you know, the general WhatsApp conversation. He mentioned to me that he will be going out with the boys later that afternoon. I decided to ask if I could join him and he agreed. Since he told me that we will be going to a party, I decided to put on an off shoulder dress, not too long and not too short. We met in town, he introduced me to the boys, which was cute. The boys were extremely friendly. We went to the party, and he paid for me, so I went in first and was walking ahead of him, he sped up to catch up with me and he complimented me saying that I had beautiful legs. It’s not like he was seeing them for the first time or maybe I was showing off the right amount of skin, maybe he was just being nice.

The place we went to was packed with people, both young and old, who looked gorgeous in different outfits. I began to feel out of place because people were wearing jeans, shorts, tiny dresses, I told my senior that I wish I had worn a jean, he pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear saying I looked stunning, he kept his face on my ear and I could literally feel him breath in and out, for some reason I closed my eyes and smiled. We sat for a while talking with the boys and as soon as it went dark, people went wild, I think I saw one couple acting like they were going to have sex there and there.

Busy Signal’s Perfect Spot was played and the crowd went wild, then my senior pulled me up from where I was sitting so that I could dance, at first I was shy and had refused him but he was so persistent so I agreed. There I was glued to him, I could feel his friend greeting me from behind, we started to grind on each other until the song finished. We remained stuck on each other, his hands around my waist, it was beautiful, I think.

I checked the time it was already 21:00pm, so I told my senior that I wanted to go home, he refused at first but I kept telling him that it was getting late and I had to go home. He told his friends that he was going to drop me off at my place and then come back to get them, they agreed and told him to take his time. As soon as we got into his car, he laid down my seat and wanted to get ontop of me, I immediately stopped him and asked him what he wanted to do, I remember him smiling so hard, and by the look in his eyes, he was horny. I looked at him with a serious face and told him I have to be home by 22:00pm. He put his head on the steering wheel and then looked at me and he apologised for putting up such a show, then without warning he bashed his lips on mine. At first I didn’t kiss him back because I was confused with his bold move. Then he removed his lips from mine and we looked at each other and I looked at his lips and this time I leaned in for a kiss and damn we behaved like hungry kids. We broke the kiss and he drove me home, and the whole time his hand was touching my bare thigh skin.

We got to my place and he thanked me for tagging along. He leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back, immediately he pulled my dress down from my shoulders. I opened my eyes and I looked at him and without warning, he removed my bra and starting sucking my breasts like his life depended on it. I remember being out of control. My hands were on the back of his head pressing him so that he doesn’t stop. He continued to kiss me and his hands were busy fondling my breasts. It felt so good but yet so wrong and immediately I wanted it to stop. I told him it was enough because deep down I was beginning to feel as if he just wanted a fuck buddy and I didn’t want that because I was afraid of my feelings.

I told him to stop and he didn’t he continued to suck and fondle my breasts in the most painful way I had to push him and told him enough. At this point I don’t want to lie, I was scared because he was now behaving like a hungry lion that just got it’s prey. I pulled my dress up and I got out of his car. He followed me and pinned me to the wall, I begged him to let me go as he was trying to pull my dress up, I pushed him again and told him that I’d see him at work and he nodded and drove away”.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Don’t cheat. Don’t Cheat.

If you feel you aren’t getting attention from the one you love, you should sit down with them and talk to them.

If you decide to go out on a date with someone you don’t really know. It’s better to do so either in the morning, or in the afternoon because you don’t really know them and you wouldn’t want to be in a position whereby you will do things that you aren’t willing to do.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY歹

SUNDAY CONFESSIONS: THE BOY WASN’T MINE.

“After my boyfriend and I broke up I decided to call it quits and just be alone for a while, for my sanity. I was tired of trying to make relationships work you know, but everyone has a breaking point and I had reached mine.

A year and some months passed, I remember very well, it was my friend’s birthday party I met someone, well I thought I did. The conversation was amazing, I enjoyed every bit of it. I loved his sense of humour and how he kept eye contact the whole time we were conversing. You see, I love it when I’m talking to a guy and they are giving me all their undivided attention it’s a huge turn on for me. As I was about to go home we exchanged our contacts and he said he’d call me once he thinks I’ve reached home. As soon as I reached home I received the call, I remember we talked for over forty minutes and it was one of the best phone calls I will always remember.

After a month of getting to know each other and ofcourse not meeting up ever since the party, he decided to call me up and ask me out on a date. It wasn’t much of a big deal though, I didn’t put much into it because people go on dates to find out if they are a match so I wasn’t expecting much. When I got to the suggested place, he was already there, waiting for me, that was a cute move. I enjoyed the food and his time, we talked about our past relationships and the obvious, our expectations on the new relationships ahead, it was fun I won’t lie. We planned that our next date would be at my place, as the old saying goes, ‘a way into a man’s heart is through his stomach‘.

Our second date was amazing and sad because he told me that he would be travelling for some work, which was the sad part. He showered me with lots of compliments of how a good cook I was. We watched a movie, which he really didn’t watch because the entire time his eyes were on me, I liked it. As soon as the movie ended he was ready to leave because he had some packing to do. As I was about to open my apartment door for him, he quickly pushed the door with his foot and closed it, I turned around to look at him, there I was, my back against the door, face to face with this handsome man.

We kept our eyes on each other for some seconds before he leaned in to kiss me, I tried to kiss him back but he pulled back. He laughed a little and placed his hands on my arms and told me to relax and just let our lips have a little chat. I really was tensed up because he definitely caught me off guard and I liked it. Without giving any warning, he pressed his soft lips on mine and my GOD. Let me tell you something, when you are kissed the right way, your whole body stops to function the normal way, you feel some type of way. I closed my eyes and I felt every movement, his warm tongue teasing mine, it was one of the best kisses ever. He put his hands on my waist and slowly he started to lift my tight tshirt, without any luck he surrendered because it was too tight. He cupped my cheek with one hand and the other went straight to my breasts. At this point I started to feel this weird feeling all over my body, I removed my lips from his in gasp for air and he stopped. I looked at him weird, because I wanted our make out session to continue but he told me that he was running late and would come and see me again as he gets back.

After a whole month of video calling and texting the boy finally came back and invited me over to his house, he had his friends there as well so we didn’t do anything except talking. He had bought me some really nice goodies and I was happy, every girl love surprise gifts. One of his friends dropped me off at my place and Mr lover boy promised to visit me, and he did. He did a couple of visits and all of the visits we would just sit in his car and make out like there is no tomorrow. I remember inviting him inside the house, not because I wanted to do more than just kissing but kissing in the car all the time was becoming too old for me. We did this car thing for two months and everytime he’d text me I expected him to tell me that he misses me or the three magic words.

The heat inside my heart yearning for something more was beginning to be felt outside so I decided to ask him if he had a girlfriend because I assumed we were already in a relationship because we were doing what people in a relationship do, you know. His responses weren’t what I expected every time I asked him, but I was cool with everything. The day I realised that I was really in love with this guy was on a Tuesday (I remember this day of the week because of what happened that same week). I decided to take the matter into my own hands and tell him that I miss him and wanted something serious with him, he quickly responded and told me that he was coming to see me.

Mr lover boy came, we had the most amazing make out session, in all honesty I wanted to just strip naked for him to just finish what he had started for over three months ago. I let him do whatever he wanted with his hands, I swear, it was amazing. After our make out session, I told him that I enjoyed his company but he just laughed and told me that he had something to tell me but not at that moment because he didn’t want to spoil the mood. I was very understanding, so I let him be and he went home. The following days weren’t good, he wasn’t available that much nor did he reply my messages on time.

After four days of trying to get this guy’s attention, he told me that he was now in a relationship which had started when he had travelled. I remember curling up on my couch and thinking damn, this guy really used me so bad, like everytime he wanted to touch a lady’s breasts he would just call me up because I was that available. He had played me. He had played me real good.”

MORAL OF THE STORY:

When you meet someone and you feel like you like each other, you know, that moment when you are acting like you are already in a relationship, always ask, ‘what are we’, to avoid unnecessary heartbreaks. Put a label on it before you go all the way in. Know your position in someone’s life before you decide to let them have a part of you.

PATIENCE

Have you ever needed something so bad but you can’t just seem to have it? You and me both pal! I think I’ve been in this situation too many times, I’ve lost count.

I like how people always have an answer to almost everything that happens in our lives, especially when having to be patient is the only choice. ‘Be patient it will come to you‘, or my own personal favourite, ‘Maybe you are not yet ready to have/receive it‘. Does it mean one will be in a ‘preparation room’, waiting for their own turn to come so that they receive that one or many things they have been waiting for? Yeah, I’m not sure too.

Either ways I think being patient is a gift, imagine having to tolerate the delay, the difficulties, the hardships for almost all your life. It’s difficult for anyone to just be ‘cool’ whilst being surrounded by so much negativity, but the willingness to wait without losing yourself, the ability to master the art of being calm when things are not going your way, that’s definitely something!

In all honesty I want to be a patient person who does not complain, get angry or get sad whenever things are not going the way I’m expecting them to. A patient person does not lose their temper when waiting. They take up any physical suffering (emotional, psychological and mental bearing) because they know the wait is worth it.

I want to be patient. I will be patient so that I won’t lose the good things that awaits in my journey of life.

SCARS

If you were to walk in my shoes, you could not only feel but see that my heels are hurt.

The shoes are tight fitting but the road is not smooth either.

How can it be easy when you are coming from a hurtful and painful past.

They told me that healing starts from within maybe that’s why it hurts so much.

I cringe in fear as I remember the day I became emotionally, physically, mentally and psychologically hurt.

A protector took advantage of the one he was supposed to protect from the dangerous world.

He took advantage of the trust I had in him, for him, as a father he shouldn’t have done that.

Tearing my clothes like they were pieces of paper, taking advantage of my weak body to just to satisfy his sexual needs.

Leaving me with nothing but suicidal impulse running through my veins.

No justice can ever bring my sanity back, No justice can make me live a normal life again.

I HATE YOU!!!

The wounds you caused will heal up one day, but they will leave scars.

They will leave permanent scars that I will permanently learn to live with….

Five Bible Verses To Keep You Going.

Gotta recognise when you are not feeling okay,

Gotta put back what’s taken from you everyday,

“Gotta emit from life, all negativity,

Don’t let the troubles and the struggles get in your way”.

Above are lyrics of a song that I love by Thriii that’s titled ‘My Sanity’. I bolded a part that says ‘Gotta put back what’s taken from you everyday’ because it’s a phrase that speaks to me on a very personal level and here is why; In this journey of life we meet different obstacles, some drain us not just mentally or physically but spiritually.

The hardships that we face each day make us lose sight on God’s promises, this is why Peter almost drowned (Matthew 14:28-31). What’s around us takes the Word of God out of us hence we need the word of God to refill our almost drained out faith (Gotta put back what’s taken from you everyday). Today I want to share with you Five of my most favourite bible verses that I know by heart that I always reference in times of confusion, sadness and when I want to seek God’s direction.

1. Isaiah 26:3-4 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the rock external (everlasting strength).

This all goes down to believing in God, having complete trust in Him every step of the way. I remember my twin sister sharing this verse with me when I was in my lows, I was too shattered and closed out to understand what this verse meant. Continuous reading and praying for understanding made me realise that it is God who calms the storms, it is God who silences the noises of this world that try to blind us from His love. I learnt that this only happens only if you trust in Him. God gives a peaceful mind if we trust in Him and it does not end there, God gives everlasting strength, do you know what that means? It means you will get power or the ability to overcome anything negative thrown at you, you will be a victor in everything that you do.

2. Luke 10:19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions and overcome all the power of the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

I love this verse, it was one of the few verses I learnt when I was in primary school. I remember my mother explaining how God loves us and gave us the authority over anything bad and evil. One thing that stuck in my mind upto now that I still believe is how God gave us the assurance that we will not be hurt by anything. I understood that we might get attacked or hurt by the ways in which this world functions but we will never be hurt by them. Do not let sadness, hate anger or any negativity take a toil on you because you are bigger and better than that because you have the authority to remove them on your path by the word that comes out of your mouth.

3. Psalm 91:1 He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Imagine you live with a bodyguard and everywhere you go he goes with you, will you be afraid of anything? Why? Because you know he will protect you nomatter what, right? That is the same as what God wants from us. He wants us to trust in Him in knowing that He got us nomatter what! To live in God’s secret place is through prayer and having faith that He will guide our every path. We will not be shaken with what’s around us because we will forever be under his light and love.

4. Philippians 4:6 Becareful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

I love that we can tell God anything and ask him anything that we want. He readily ready to listen because He is always listening, and all God wants from us is to pray, be humble and praise him because He dwells in praises. Now when you face a tough predicament always know someone is there to listen and help you out. God doesn’t want us to think about anything but just want us to live a prayerful life which is the best way to communicate with him. Avoid worrying, if you feel overwhelmed tell it to the Lord in prayer.

5. 1Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks;for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Be happy. Smile more. Be joyous.

Pray when you are happy. Pray when you are sad. Pray in every situation you find yourself in. Just Pray!!

Be thankful to God for all the good and all the bad that you face in life. God got you!!!!

Happy Holidays Fam.

Click on the link below to listen to the song ‘My Sanity’. Enjoy and Stay blessed.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6C7DWD5C-u8

My Recess

Let me just be honest, I had missed you all! I had missed blogging and connecting with you guys. A friend of mine (Hey Blessing) was always on my neck asking me when I will post something to read on my blog and I kept telling him that I will when I get the time. The truth of the matter is that I had the time, but I decided to use it on something else.

Anyone who is close to me knows that I am a crafty person, I love making things with my own hands from scratch sometimes or just enhance what’s already there. My mother is always buying clothes that are either too tight or small. When it’s like this, she always asks me to fix it for her because she says it’s one thing I’m good at. I guess it’s one of my God given talents.

Recently I’ve found a new ‘hobby’ that has been taking all my time. Whenever I wanted to blog I ended up saying, ‘Mmmm I will blog next time, let me just finish this one thing and then blog’, and next time became next time until I had Five things made. Let me share with you my new stuff guys!!!

This was my very first knitted scarf.
My second knitted scarf.
My third knitted scarf.
My first knitted side bag
My second knitted side bag

My twin sister loved this whole knitting idea and was super supportive and wanted to make something of her own and so she did.

My twin sister’s first knitted side bag

I know you are all wondering why I started this knitting journey and what inspired me. Well, Ntando, my friend and sister, has a friend who makes beautiful crotchet scarfs, dresses and other accessories. I loved what she did so I decided to make my own stuff and see if I can make something and also see if I’d love the journey. I loved the whole process and my mother was super supportive (she even gave me the money to buy my first pair of knitting needles and the yarn needed).

I won’t lie, this has reduced my time on social media. The hours I now spend on my phone have reduced and honestly I’d love to keep it this way. I love this beautiful recess and would love to explore more crafty ideas and see what I can make.

Blessed Holidays Fam!!

A LETTER TO MY LATE FATHER ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

Hey Dad…

I am writing on this day today because today is actually the day I celebrate your birthday ever since you’ve been gone. You probably know this is just an excuse to write to you. In all honesty I miss you, I miss your laughter, I miss taking your bag when you came home from work and search for some sweets. I really have that habit now of always having sweets in my bag. I really wish we could talk right now… I miss your goofy jokes and your great sense of humour, you would definitely have loved my sense of humour. I know for a fact that you would have been my meme partner.

Gosh! I can’t believe you’ve been gone for over 16years. 16 years of not being able to hug you and kiss you goodnight, 16 years of not being able to hear your voice, and honestly not a day goes by that I don’t think of you because your absence is a constant reminder of loss and what it really feel likes to live without the one you love. My grief still hangs heavily on me everyday because you aren’t here…

Today is your birthday and I already have your gift, my sister and I would have baked you a very delicious cake and mum would obviously have bought you a shirt and cut your hair (because that’s what I always remember her doing on every valentine’s day). But in reality, we can’t do all this for you, which is pretty sad.

A lot of things happened since you left, you missed so many milestones:

*My twin sister and I graduated from college

*She is now a Veterinary Doctor. You’ve alwayssss wanted her to be a doctor didn’t you? Well, you won on this one!

*I am now a Linguist, Writer and Blogger. I remember you correcting my English grammar and being so kind about it, well dad I got a book out your grooming and teaching skills.

*You weren’t there when your girlfriend graduated too. You two would’ve looked so beautiful together.

*You weren’t there to console me when my first boyfriend broke my heart, trust me, I was hurt and really needed a daddy-daughter talk.

I’m going to be honest, there are times I think of what my life would be like if you were here, probably its because life can be really hard and the thought of wishing what it would be like if you were around is just inevitable. I look at my friends and think how lucky they are to have their fathers around, that’s life I guess…

I do not want this letter to be emotional because I have a lot to say but it is really your birthday so I am going to take this opportunity and say, Thank you for loving me, thank you for living me with a beautiful lady who is my mum(your choice was perfect dad), thank you so much for living us with a place to lay our heads, thank you for being a hard working man who taught me that everything is achieveable. Thank you for that.

Happy birthday daddy and continue to rest in peace and I love you. Thank you for everything.

With love

Your daughter Charmaine.